Virtue Challenge: Week 8

Charity & Service
Ever feel stretched thin? Like you want to stop giving and just take care of your own needs? Charity and service will do that to you. They will draw your selfishness up to the surface. Temptation to put your own needs above those of others arises. This week, I really felt like bailing on some of my charity & service commitments. After spending the day at work, the last thing I wanted to do was to extend my time for others, but I'm glad I shut that little selfish voice inside of me and followed up on my commitments. This is what love is all about. Willing the good of the other. Putting their needs above our own. I know God will keep challenging me to grow in virtue, but that is because He loves me. He also wants me to grow in holiness. How can I ever do so if I don't extend a hand to my neighbour and love him as much as I love myself? The Gospel today was a bit of a slap in the face (see what I did there? I like to think I'm clever...or good at making terrible jokes, you choose).

To be noted, I always come out of my charity and service time feeling like I get more than I give. That's how He works.

what makes your heart beat?

back to my roots

I've gone back to being a brunette. This shade is slightly darker than my natural colour, but my hair stylist promised it would fade into the right colour. I've also gone back to being a bit of my hermit self. I'm taking a break from Facebook. After uploading this picture on Facebook and Instagram I got some unpleasant personal messages. Some really creepy messages to be truthful. Words can be scary. I won't be reactivating my Facebook account until after Easter, if at all. I'm hoping that during this time, I'll learn to seek God in the moments where I would naturally turn to my phone and check for notifications. If we all turned to God as often as we turned to our phones, maybe there'd be more saints.

On a less sombre note, that novena that I finished on Tuesday and posted about, well I can divulge more details now that I've signed the contract. I've been enjoying working part time post graduation from university, but the last couple of months I have felt ready to work full time. I came to the realization that I was often complaining in my prayer time about not working full time, but not actually asking God for full time work. I was recently invited to go to Madrid in September for Don Alvaro's beatification. I've been dreaming about Spain for the last few years. Thus, I prayed a novena with Don Alvaro, asking him for his intercession: that I may have full time work and be able to afford to go to Madrid in the fall. On the last day of my novena, as soon as my manager came into work, she proposed a contract for me to work on the days that I hadn't been working and a raise. Had I not been about to go back to some clients, I would have burst into tears right there. GOD IS SO GOOD. There is nothing better than knowing that God will give you the desires of your heart when your rely entirely on Him and that what you ask of Him is in accordance to His will. Tomorrow is my first day in this new job, please pray for me!

Virtue Challenge: Week 7

Gentle & kind
This week, in my virtue challenge, I gave a friend some tough love. As women, we often associate kindness as the act of pleasing others. Our love of self can trump our love of others. We crave their approval so we don't always want to tell them they're wrong. Thankfully, God's grace precedes us and when we correspond to it, He can do great things through us! Strive to please the Lord, not others.

thanksgiving

This morning I finished a novena and had my petition answered. Never underestimate the power of God. Through prayer, our wants align themselves with His will and God is faithful in giving us what our heart desires. I'm filled with so much thanksgiving, MY HEART COULD BURST Y'ALL.

Virtue Challenge: Week 6

Warning: I'm not a trained theologian or doctor of the Church. If something here seems to contradict teachings of the Church, note that I do not speak on behalf of the Magisterium.

Pure

This past week I focused on the virtue of purity. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that: "Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person" (CCC 2521). Modesty is something I struggle with. I could blame it on our culture and the media, but let's be frank, I'm a product of my choices. 

I'm someone who craves clear guidelines. It's part of my scrupulous nature. However, I didn't want to just focus on rules this week. I want my choice of modesty to come from a place of love. Here are a few of the following questions I've been asking myself this past week:

-Would I wear this if I were going to Mass?

-Would I act like this if I had a husband and he were right beside me?

-Would I want my future husband doing this?

and most importantly:

-Am I reflecting Christ?

-Am I growing in holiness?

Glancing down at my purity ring and asking these questions this past week really helped me in choices that I made. I'm going to keep working on this. Something I want to do in the near future is a second overhaul of my closet. This summer I did a purity purge (I donated some clothing items I deemed immodest). The closer I grow to Christ, the higher my standards become and that includes standards for myself and the way I dress. In moments of vanity, I like to remind myself of this: "Modesty is always beautiful" (G.K. Chesterton). Please keep me in your prayers!

Virtue Challenge: Week 5

Warning: I'm not a trained theologian or doctor of the Church. If something here seems to contradict teachings of the Church, note that I do not speak on behalf of the Magisterium.

Note on last week's challenge: Oooof, the Lord has been answering my Litany of Humility, a little too well if you know what I mean. He keeps drawing my sins to the surface and extracting them like venom from a snake bite. It's painful, but the Lord is purifying me by having me deal with all this pride I possess. So bring on the pain Lord, if it’s what is needed in order for me to be a Saint!

Joyful & Fun
Now, let’s examine this week's virtue challenge. I focused on being joyful and fun. I'm going to talk about how I've experienced temptation to despair, to let go of being joyful and fun this week. I think it might be the understatement of the year when I say I have a tendency to be scrupulous. I’m a perfectionist. I will start things over until it’s JUST right. I’m learning to let go of this need for perfection, but rather, focus on sainthood.

At times, when I do my examination of conscience, I can find myself reflecting and obsessing on venial sins that happened nearly a decade ago. It’s so important to understand the difference between venial and mortal sins in understanding our transgressions against our Father. I was born with the original sin. I suffer from a fallen human will.

When I focus on these venial sins from my past, that I had forgotten and haven’t had a chance to bring up in Reconciliation, I fear I'm not receiving our Lord in a perfect state of grace during Communion. These thoughts come from the enemy. The devil would have me believe that my sin is greater than the ocean of mercy our Lord has for me. He uses scruples to draw me away from God's love and tempts me with despair.

I tend to cope with scruples by spending time in personal prayer and fasting to repent from these venial sins. Our Lord knows we are weak and fallen creatures, but He loves us and has so much mercy and justice. If He didn't, we would never be worthy of receiving the Eucharist. Without His mercy, only Mother Mary would be worthy of Communion, in her immaculate conception.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed

Saint Josemaria put it best when he wrote: “Get rid of those scruples that deprive you of peace. What robs you of your peace of soul cannot come from God. When God comes to you, you will realize the truth of those greetings: My peace I give to you... My peace I leave with you... My peace be with you... And this peace you will feel even in the midst of tribulation”.

***

N.B. Do NOT purposefully omit to confess venial sins in the sacrament of Reconciliation. Do know, that any sins that you honestly forget to confess are forgiven when you receive absolution, but bring them up at your next Confession when you do remember them. It is good to confess these sins in prayer, but why deny yourself the amazing grace our Lord grants you through Reconciliation? The enemy will try to fool you into thinking that your venial sins have a stronger hold on you than God's grace. Jesus died for your sins. Keep these verses in mind:

John 3:22-24 For there is no distinction; all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God. They are justified freely by his grace through the redemption in Christ Jesus

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we saw his glory, the glory as of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weaknesses.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, -in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.